Larry Heckman, 18, in 1965, just before going to Vietnam.
Jane and Larry Heckman on the day of their daughter’s wedding in 1989.
Larry Heckman with one of his beloved coon-hunting dogs, a walker hound he called Preacher.
Jane Heckman of Grubville submitted photos of her late husband, Lawrence H. “Larry” Heckman, who served in the Army during the Vietnam War.
“Larry graduated from Hillsboro High School in 1962 and enlisted later that year,” she said. “He did basic training at Fort Leonard Wood and jungle training at Fort Polk, La. The last six months of his enlistment were spent as a drill instructor at Fort Lewis, Wash.”
But it was a very different Larry who came home after his hitch was up.
“Like most Vietnam vets, he suffered from PTSD, flashbacks and guilt,” his wife of 45 years said. “He struggled with the guilt – ‘Why did I come home when so many of my buddies didn’t?’
“Screaming, loud noises – especially fireworks – would send him back to the jungles of Vietnam. I learned to detect when he was in a bad flashback, and I didn’t talk to him, didn’t move.
“What he saw, what he did, haunted him.”
Larry Heckman tried to put his Vietnam experiences behind him.
“Larry did many jobs to support his family,” Jane said. “He enjoyed farming the most. He was a member of the Jefferson County Coon Hunting Club, and he hunted all around the county and traveled out of state. He won many trophies.”
Larry’s inner turmoil continued over many years.
“In the early years of our marriage, he didn’t like to talk about his time in Vietnam,” Jane said. “However, as the years passed, it became a little easier, and his stories helped heal the wounds deep inside him. Living with a Vietnam vet wasn’t always easy. We both struggled, and we did what we had to do for each other. The road he traveled was anything but easy; he never fully recovered from the war. He left part of himself behind. I believe any man who served, especially in the infantry, left part of themselves there in the jungles of Vietnam.”
Larry Heckman died at age 76 and is buried in the National Cemetery at Jefferson Barracks.
“He was a soldier, a father, a husband and friend,” his wife said. Being a grandpa and great-grandpa gave him much happiness. None of our lives are the same. His loss is still hard, and we are learning to live without him.”
Jane said the veterans cemetery is a good place to remember the sacrifice made by those who fought during the Vietnam War.
“We drove through sometimes when Larry had a V.A. appointment,” she said. “Even then, I was touched, and the tears would fall. You look at all the snow-white headstones, and it’s chilling. It’s so quiet, and when there’s a funeral, you can hear taps playing and the 21-gun salute.
“We really do owe them a debt of gratitude. We can’t know what they went through unless we had been there. Don’t forget them. On Veterans Day, remember all those who served. If you know a vet or see a vet, tell them ‘Thank you.’ You may never know what that means to them.”
