The day Kelly Ramsey was diagnosed with lung cancer in 2015, her family gathered to discuss what might happen next.
“It was pretty bleak. You don’t have to be a doctor to know Stage 4 lung cancer is not a good thing,” her husband, Jim, said. “She looked at us all and just declared, ‘Well, I know what we’re NOT going to do, and that’s sit around mourning all evening. I’m not dying tonight.’
“That was just her outlook on life. She thoroughly enjoyed people and life, and she had such strong faith. She truly trusted God the whole time. She never asked why; she believed very firmly that God has a bigger plan.”
Mrs. Ramsey died July 19 at age 53.
She grew up in Crystal City, the daughter of Dorothy Curtis, a longtime music teacher in the area. Her parents were divorced when she was about 2.
“Dorothy was a very vibrant person,” Jim said. “That’s where Kelly got a lot of her talents and traits, including her passion for elementary music.”
After graduating from Crystal City High School, Mrs. Ramsey worked for a year or two, and then joined the Army.
“She went in as military police, and was stationed in Germany,” Jim said. “She heard about auditions for this show choir the Army had, and she made it in.”
The group of about 40 traveled all over Europe, entertaining at formal dinners and events.
“They did these elaborate musical productions, with dancing and singing and everything,” Jim said. “She sang in quartets; she did solos. She did that for a couple of years.”
Back home after her Army stint, she pursued a music education degree at Missouri Baptist College, where she met her future husband.
“The first thing I noticed was this tall, gorgeous redhead,” Jim said. “But in a couple of minutes, I started to see her personality.
“She was extremely genuine, and she definitely liked to laugh. When she let loose, really let that laugh go, there was no way you could be in the same room and not join in.”
She taught at Grandview and Bayless schools and worked summers as an entertainer at Six Flags St. Louis.
“We did a doo-wah diddy show on the sidewalks and streets,” Joshua Rhine, longtime friend and fellow teacher, said. “We did seven shows a day, six days a week. We did another show on the stage at night, kind of a vintage revue.”
The two would later work together at Festus schools from 1997 until Mrs. Ramsey’s retirement in May 2017.
Judy Rosener was a PE teacher when Mrs. Ramsey joined the Festus staff.
“She was sunny, bubbly – we hit it off right away,” Rosener said. “She had such a rapport with the kids. She’d have 25 third-graders with recorders, half of them off key, and she’d be up there smiling and having fun. She didn’t back down from any challenge.”
Rosener recalls shopping excursions with Mrs. Ramsey and fellow teachers
Angie Eisenbeis and Donya Walden.
“We’d eat at Cracker Barrel – she always had oatmeal and a muffin – and then go shopping,” Rosener said. “We’d pull in a parking space; she’d open the door, and find $5 or $10 on the ground. It happened more than once. It was so odd.
“We called it redhead luck.”
One of Mrs. Ramsey’s passions was songwriting.
“She was amazing,” Rhine said. “She wrote hundreds, and had them all in her memory. She taught them to her elementary choir and to my (intermediate) choirs.”
Jim said his wife had planned to get them into sheet music form.
“It was a God-given ability,” he said. “She could get an idea, take that and formulate it into a song, both vocals and accompaniment. One song, ‘Missing You This Christmas,’ got played on local radio stations a lot. It was in memory of her mom.”
She also wrote a lot of praise songs and a lot of children’s choir music. One of those, called “Winter Bird,” was played at her memorial service.
Mrs. Ramsey made several YouTube videos of her playing and singing, even one with her German shepherd, Pete, singing along.
“She was a huge animal lover,” her husband said. “I had to have conversations with her about not putting herself at risk – she was the kind of person who’d pull over on a winding road to save a turtle.”
The lung cancer diagnosis was a surprise for a 50-year-old who never smoked and was in good physical shape. But Mrs. Ramsey took it in her stride.
“She was in a study for two years studying the effects of two kinds of medications,” Jim said. “She never had any of the traditional effects of chemo; she had dry skin, and her hair got very curly.
“I teased her that she was saving money on perms.”
Following the July 4 holiday, Mrs. Ramsey suffered a series of mini strokes.
“They attributed it to the thickening of blood in those who have cancer,” Jim said.
But the places in her body where the cancer had spread – her hips, lower back, upper spine – began to be painful.
“They had considered her stable, because the bone 'mets' (metastasized spots) and the tumor in her lung weren’t changing,” Jim said. “Then a PET scan showed they were becoming more active and that was giving her pain.”
Jim said he feared his wife’s condition would worsen as the cancer spread.
“I was afraid for that. I prayed she wouldn’t suffer,” he said. “And then she had a massive brain hemorrhage on Tuesday night and died on Thursday. It was peaceful the whole time; she didn’t struggle or seem to be in pain.”
Jim believes it was his wife’s faith that got her through her ordeal.
“She did it so courageously, with such dignity,” he said. “She looked at cancer as almost a gift because it helped her strengthen her relationship with God.”
Brenda Speidel, a former Festus administrator, praised Mrs. Ramsey’s courage.
“This woman inspired many with her tenacity and faith and spirit,” Speidel said. “She approached teaching methodically, as a soldier would, but with the compassion that every parent desires in a teacher.”
Rhine put it even more simply.
“We were basically partners in crime. I am going to miss her so much.”
“Life Story,” posted Saturdays on Leader Publications’ website, focuses on one individual’s impact on his or her community.