Whether he was working with computers, hiking with his family or playing music, Delbert Smith prided himself on going the extra mile to make things as perfect as possible.
“I would tell him, ‘Everybody makes mistakes. Don’t worry about it,’ but he would never buy that,” said Kim Smith, 50, his wife of almost 31 years. “Whatever he did, it had to be perfect. He was really tough on himself.”
Mr. Smith died May 10, less than six months after being diagnosed with cancer.
He grew up in De Soto, where he played and sang with his family, which performed all over the area as the Smith Family.
“We met when his family gospel group came to sing at Kinder Church, near Puxico,” Kim said. “It was in May of 1981, right before I graduated from high school. He was very quiet, didn’t talk a lot, but there was just something about him.”
The two met up again later that year, and started writing letters back and forth. She discovered how complex a man he could be. He was highly intelligent, but had dropped out of high school.
“He said the teachers couldn’t get him to relate to what they were saying,” Kim said. “He felt closed down; he felt like he wasn’t learning what he needed. He just couldn’t concentrate, so he quit.
“His dad went out and bought books, and Delbert studied and got his GED.”
In about 1980, Mr. Smith got a job as a flyboy with Jefferson County Publications Inc. in Festus, and would work with newspapers in one capacity or another for the next 32 years.
“He moved to the camera room,” his wife said. “Then he became a computer graphics person.”
Most of his skills were self-taught.
“The only class or course he ever took was a two-week seminar in New York, where they sent him to learn how to work with the scanner,” Kim said. “Everything else he taught himself.
“He took pride in seeing something, figuring out how it worked, then trying to learn and build from there. That was with everything he did. And people came to rely on it. It was like, ‘Delbert knows’ or ‘Delbert will figure it out.’”
Music was an important part of Mr. Smith’s life.
“He grew up with gospel and church music,” Kim said. “He liked all different kinds of music, but he was really into Rush, Charlie Daniels, Heart – groups like that. He could play almost any instrument; in the family group, growing up, he played lead guitar.”
For many years, Mr. Smith played a guitar that had belonged to his best friend who had died.
“The friend’s dad said, ‘I know how much he meant to you, and I want you to have this,’” Kim said. “That was in the late ’70s, and Delbert played that guitar for the rest of his life. He wouldn’t let anybody even carry that guitar, much less play it.”
His connection to friends was strong, but family ties were even stronger.
“It’s hard to explain how much he cared about being a dad,” Kim said. “He changed them; carried them; as soon as they were born he was just with them as much as he could be.”
Kim said both of their daughters became strong musicians.
“The oldest, Hannah, would sing in the family group when she was little, and was the bass player later on for a short while. Aimee played the drums, and she played in the group for a couple of years.”
The girls were quick studies, like their dad.
“Aimee picked up everything he taught her right away,” Kim said. “She had her dad’s ear and could pick up music. It made her happy. And it made him happy that she wanted to do it.”
The family also enjoyed hiking together.
“He had just tons of maps of state parks, with trails marked and plans for hikes he’d like to do someday. Nature made him calm.”
From November on, Mr. Smith’s body was ravaged by the fast-spreading disease.
“They did a biopsy, and found (cancer) in his lungs,” Kim said. “They tried to send him to radiation, and Delbert said, ‘Can’t you operate?’ But the doctor said, ‘I can’t. You’re in Stage 4.’
In January, a broken hip led to the discovery that the cancer had spread to his bones and lymph nodes. He was admitted to the hospital, and lesions were found on his spine, at mid-back, in his ribs and in his muscles.
“It pretty much went everywhere,” Kim said
But even as his body weakened, Mr. Smith’s work ethic remained the same.
“Even when he was sick, he wouldn’t miss work (at Gannett Offset in St. Louis, where the Leader is printed),” Kim said. “He could be almost dead and he’d go. They got him a wheelchair so he could wheel around and not have to get up on crutches; they knew he would go no matter what.”
Eventually, however, he could no longer fight through the pain, and he succumbed to the disease just a few days short of six months after his initial diagnosis.
Kim said her husband would want to be remembered for his loyalty and love for family.
“Family and playing music – those were the things that most made him happy,” she said. “He always wanted to be like his dad and his grandpa. They did everything they could to take care of their families.
“Delbert always said, ‘If I can be half the man they are, I will have really accomplished something.’ And I’d say, ‘You are, Delbert. You’re just like them.’”
“Life Story,” posted each Saturday on Leader Publications’ website, focuses on one individual’s impact on his or her community.