Mary Jane Kiepe headed up a club no one ever really wants to be admitted to: America’s Gold Star Mothers, the organization for those who have lost a child during military service.
Mrs. Kiepe, who died March 4 at 85, rose through the ranks to become national president following the 1992 death of her son, a Navy pilot.
“We’ve heard a lot from people that she was ‘light and love.’ Those are the words that continue to come up,” said Kim Neel, Mrs. Kiepe’s oldest daughter. “She always had a smile and was non-judgmental and I guess they sensed that. She truly left a legacy of kindness, love, support and service.”
Mary Jane Werner grew up in Festus, attending the old Sacred Heart Catholic School in Festus and graduating in 1957 from Festus High School.
She met Glenn Kiepe, six years her senior and fresh from the U.S. Air Force, on a blind date in summer 1958.
“There was a barbecue and they said bring a date,” he recalls. “Well, I had been away and I didn’t know anybody, and Sam Noce said he knew this girl. We had the best time. We hit it off real good. I knew then she was the one.”
The two were engaged on Halloween and married in April 1959. Glenn went to work at the glass factory in Crystal City, and the couple welcomed four children in four years: Kim in 1960, Kelly (Dallas) in 1961, Kent in 1962 and Kristi (Landess) in 1964, with Kari (Kopp) trailing along in 1970.
She was a staunch Catholic and he a lifelong Methodist.
“We made an agreement not to let man-made theology get in the way,” Glenn said. “We didn’t dwell on the differences; we concentrated on the things we had in common and just kept our eyes to Jesus. It wasn’t something that barred our way.”
The children were raised Catholics, but were comfortable at both Sacred Heart with their mom and Wesley Memorial Methodist with their dad.
“Dad went to his church and mom and us kids went to Sacred Heart,” Kari said. “It never felt weird. We’d go to Bible school with Dad, go to special things like dinners or the Fall Festival at Wesley. We felt part of both churches.”
Mrs. Kiepe was active in Scouts, 4H and church activities with her kids.
In the mid-1970s, she became an LPN through Jefferson College’s brand-new nursing program and went to work at Jefferson Memorial Hospital (now Mercy Hospital Jefferson) as a physical therapy assistant.
In 1992, the family’s close bond and deep faith were tested by tragedy when Lt. Kent Kiepe, an F/A-18 Hornet pilot slated to join the Blue Angels flying team, was killed in a crash during a training flight.
“Mom was amazingly strong,” Kari said. “Mom said she and Dad talked about how they couldn’t fall apart because they had to be strong for us.”
Glenn said he and his wife turned to their faith for solace.
“We all felt this was the end of everything,” he said. “But life goes on and we have to trust in the Lord.”
Within a short time, Mrs. Kiepe had found additional solace with the Gold Star Mothers. She worked her way up through local and state levels and was named National President of AGSM for 2007-2008.
“It was out of her comfort zone and I really admired her for that,” Kari said. “She never even liked to drive to St. Louis, and here she was flying out to Washington, D.C.”
Kim said it was clear their mom had found her niche, and the family is convinced Gold Star helped Mrs. Kiepe cope with the loss of her son.
“The focus is on service to veterans, and I think it felt like she was doing it directly for Kent,” Kim said.
In the late 1990s, the Kiepes began a flag education program, visiting schools, churches, civic groups and more.
“Mom and Dad worked so well together as a unit,” Kim said. “They would talk about Kent and then do a presentation about the history of flags and flag etiquette. They did it for, like, 15 years.”
In the years following her term as president, Mrs. Kiepe spent many hours volunteering at the local VA hospital. She helped initiate the Grant-a-Wish program in the VA rehabilitation unit, and raised funds for the Fisher House at Jefferson Barracks, which provides a place to stay for the families of veterans receiving treatment.
“She’d go up and attend funerals for homeless veterans,” Kari said. “She would be there to accept their flags.”
Mrs. Kiepe had enjoyed good health until February, when she took a fall and seemed unable to get rid of pain from a bruised rib.
“Blood work showed her liver enzymes were elevated,” Kim said. “They did a CT scan and found pancreatic cancer that had metastasized to her liver.”
Mrs. Kiepe elected not to pursue treatment and spent her last days at home, enjoying the company of her children, 15 grandchildren and 20 great-grandchildren.
“We prayed for a miracle,” Kim said. “And I realized that we got it, because she had no pain to speak of.”
Mrs. Kiepe died peacefully at home just 24 days after her diagnosis.
“I don’t know that Mary Jane ever had anyone talk bad about her,” Glenn said. “She always wanted the best for everyone. We had hundreds of people at her funeral, and so many said they remembered her as always smiling.
“Now, I lived with her, and she did not always smile," he joked. "But she was such a bright light in the life of anyone who knew her. That was her personality.
“I feel privileged that I was able to live my life with her for 66 years. She was an easy person to live with and I miss her dreadfully.”