When our youngest son was a small boy, his favorite movie was a Jim Carrey farce called, “The Mask.”
We watched it together more times than I could count. It had spectacular (well, for the ‘90s) cartoon animation mixed into the live action, making it zany enough to enthrall a 6-year-old mind.
My son liked it, too.
Who knew such a sweet, innocent title would be turned into the raging, fist-clenched Debate of the Century a couple of decades later?
Jefferson County has not been spared. As the COVID-19 pandemic stubbornly rolls on, any suggested science to combat it immediately falls into the “fer us or agin us” mentality of the times, in which virtually everything can be contorted into a political statement.
Somehow, public health measures, suggested by people you never heard of six months ago, have taken on red-blue overtones.
Let’s begin by acknowledging how ridiculous it is to think that scientists who work in windowless government bunkers, wear lab coats and speak in chemical equations, give a rat’s patootie about politics.
It’s not polite and it’s not correct, but these are desperate times so I’m going to say it – these people are classic nerds. They care about compounds and acids and what goes on inside the human body, God love ’em. Someone has to.
The people who do care about politics – a less pure lot, to be sure – are the ones who run for office and their enablers: rabid partisans, talk radio hosts, bloggers, newspaper columnists and other unsavory sorts.
The nerds say wearing masks is the best defense, aside from isolation, to combat the virus. Many of the political class, after wetting their fingers and sticking them in the air, say no way, Jose.
After scolding that phrase as an ethnic slur, the pro-maskers mount their high horses and proceed to tell everyone else what to do.
My approach is to simplify all the noise and just try not to die, which is pretty much the goal of all retirees. Part of that approach is to notice what seems to be working elsewhere and what isn’t.
Here’s what appears not to work:
■ Partying in a spring break-like frenzy.
■ Clubbing, unless that means hitting someone who gets within 6 feet of you.
■ Large gatherings in confined spaces.
■ Choral singing.
■ Theaters.
■ Mass transit.
■ Contact sports.
Here’s what seems to work.
■ Staying home.
■ Drive-in movies.
■ Golf (walking or in separate carts) or tennis.
■ Grocery delivery.
■ Gardening. (Anyone need some zucchini? Please?)
■ Parks and walking trails, properly distanced.
I don’t like them, but I wear masks on the rare occasions I am in public and within sneezing distance of other humans. My limit is about five minutes. Maybe they won’t be as bad when it’s cooler. But I wear them when I need to wear them.
I do not consider them an infringement on my liberty. In fact, the rockheads who continue to partake in the Not Working list above are infringing on all our liberties and keeping the economy shut down. The best estimate of the nerds at the national Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is that we could knock the virus down in four to six weeks (as has been done in many other countries) if everyone would comply and wear the dang masks.
But, noooooo, we have the liberty people who refuse and now the pandemic is dragging us into Month Seven as
COVID numbers continue to rise, nationally, statewide and right here at home.
What do we have to lose? If the nerds are wrong, at least we tried. But it’s worked elsewhere.
This requires leadership and political will that, sadly, is lacking in many places, including Jefferson County. Politicians need at least to set an example, if not issue mandates. Appear in public (socially distanced, of course), take a photo and release a statement urging mask use.
The Jefferson County Health Department’s Board of Trustees appeared to be close to approving a mask order, but backed off when 50 or so Liberty Loudmouths showed up to intimidate them.
A special boo-hiss to Sheriff Dave Marshak, who preemptively said before the health board vote that the Sheriff’s Office, which has been hit by the virus, would not be “the mask police” or issue summonses for violations of such an order.
Sheriff, it’s not your job to influence public health policy. If the board passes it, then make your statement.
At least Marshak isn’t emulating the idiot sheriff in Florida who issued an order banning his deputies and visitors from wearing masks at his offices.
The Jefferson County Council has been silent. Will it remain so as the pandemic drags on into a second year, or longer?
What are local mayors and city councils doing? They are being outshone by corporate America, which is increasingly requiring masks in stores and workplaces.
Here’s a thought: Try something! The scientists have made their suggestions. Show some guts already instead of sitting there, waiting for the whole problem to magically disappear. We’ve seen where the twiddle-your-thumbs approach has led us.
Leadership: That’s the ticket. Now, who’s got some?
