She was at his side, all those decades ago, when a constable stopped by a bridge in Michigan. He wanted to know exactly why the group of gregarious young people had thought it a good idea to steal watermelons from a field, crack them open on the bridge rail to get at the juicy fruit, and then fling the seeds and rinds into the creek below.
It was their first date, and thankfully, the officer of the law decided not to ruin the fun.
She proposed marriage – she, 19, he, 23 – after a summertime courtship, asking him whether he’d rather get married in September or November. He picked November, but said since she had done the proposing, she should choose the date. Nov. 14, it was.
She worked as a secretary – learning to operate a Friden Flexowriter, the first word processor – so he could attend college on the G.I. Bill. Meanwhile, she managed the home and cared for their first child.
Farther down the road in their marriage, she devoted herself to restoring his health after his heart attack and triple bypass surgery.
“She inspired me,” he says.
So, now, all Festus resident Bernie Kenyon, 85, wants is to show Elizabeth, his wife of 61 years, how much he cares.
That’s been hard to do for the last two months because Elizabeth, 81, has been under quarantine at Festus Manor nursing home, where she’s lived since October 2019.
Just like everyone else, Bernie is banished from in-person visits, even after Elizabeth broke her hip and had to be hospitalized (where he also was not allowed).
His wife’s deepening dementia has made the situation even more challenging. Much of the time, Elizabeth has been unable to understand Bernie’s absence, and her phone calls to him have been plaintive and angry.
“I’ve had a lot of emotive nights,” Bernie says.
The Kenyons’ story is like thousands of others playing out across America and the world, with COVID-19 targeting nursing homes with deadly precision, sickening and killing residents and staff. A New York Times database found in early May that about one-third of America’s COVID-19 deaths are linked to nursing homes.
At least 11 of Jefferson County’s 15 COVID-related deaths have been nursing home residents, five of them at Festus Manor.
When Elizabeth moved there full-time, after suffering repeated falls at home, Bernie started a new routine of visiting her every four to five days, scheduled between his thrice-weekly dialysis sessions. Often, another woman, a relative by marriage, joined in during Bernie’s visits.
Then came COVID.
Bernie remembers Elizabeth feeling unwell with cold symptoms, and then their family friend got sick, too. After a couple of days in the hospital, the friend died. Bernie identifies her as Jefferson County’s first coronavirus death.
Immediately, the nursing home was in lockdown, where it has remained ever since.
Testing of all approximately 300 residents and staff found 62 residents positive for COVID, along with 25 staff members. Elizabeth tested negative, although Bernie suspects she may have had it anyway.
He has nothing but praise for the hard-pressed nursing home staff, who had to work overtime and stay at a hotel during the crisis.
“I can’t express how grateful I am,” Bernie said. “They got a cleaning company in there as quickly as they could. They had fans in every window and were cleansing every room.”
Once, when Elizabeth called him to say she was soaked and needed her bed and clothing changed, he called the desk to report the problem.
“The phone rang 25, 35 times, they were so overwhelmed,” Bernie says. “I could tell the person who answered was fatigued, but she went to the room.”
Bernie accidentally got to listen in while help was given, because Elizabeth didn’t hang up after calling him.
“She (the employee) was so kind. She consoled my wife and treated her like she was her own mother. I heard it happen,” he says.
Staff has facilitated deliveries of items he couldn’t give to Elizabeth in person – the small refrigerator for her room to keep her Diet Coke cold, the no-slip socks she wanted, the popcorn she likes from Aldi, and the new tops and trousers he bought so she could look nice for spring.
“The nurse took a picture of her in one of the new tops and sent it to me,” Bernie said. “She looked so pretty.”
Naturally, he has paid attention to the plight of nursing homes in a COVID-19 world. He advocates for two improvements on a national level – complete transparency on information involving cases and deaths, and more help for personnel. States that have called in the National Guard to assist nursing homes with treatment and testing are doing the right thing, he believes.
And meanwhile, Bernie has some good things to report.
Hospital staffers were able to explain to his wife about the quarantine, and in recent days, she has not been angry at him.
On May 22, Festus Manor told families that all 109 residents were asymptomatic and the 25 staffers who tested positive had all recovered.
Finally, he’s learned that in-person visits may be allowed again before long.
If he has to wear a mask and stay 6 feet away, he says he’ll be glad to do it.
To see Elizabeth.
