Two years ago, Vivian DeGeare’s loved ones were called to her bedside by doctors who were sure the 98-year-old’s death was imminent.
“She was in the hospital with pneumonia and bacterial bronchitis,” said David DeGeare, 65, of Maryland Heights, the youngest of her eight children. “Her doctor said she wasn’t going to live through the night. We didn’t agree with that, because we didn’t think she was ready.”
David said doctors hadn’t taken into account the miracle of prayer.
“She hadn’t eaten anything for three days, but she woke up that next morning and said, ‘I think I’m hungry.’ She ordered a big breakfast and ate almost all of it.
“When the doctor came in, he said, ‘If I was a betting man, I’d have put money down that you weren’t going to make it through the night.’ Later, he said, ‘Your mother has defied everything I’ve ever learned in medical school.”
But Mrs. DeGeare’s children knew her strength of will.
“She was determined to make it to 100,” David said with a laugh. “She wanted her picture on that Smuckers label.”
She died Feb. 10, a few months past that milestone birthday.
Vivian Esch grew up in Festus during the Depression. She lettered in track and was “pretty good” at basketball, her son said. After graduation, she went to work as a glass inspector at the PPG plant in Crystal City, often walking there from her home on Sixth Street in Festus. She met Andrew DeGeare through her sister, and the two were married in January 1940.
They would have eight children in 10 years, and Mrs. DeGeare was an active stay-at-home mom.
“She made it fun,” David said. “Every birthday, she made little cakes that looked like baseball caps. As a little boy, I’d get these little plastic Army guys or cowboys and Indians, and she’d lie down on the floor and play with them with me.”
She kept a garden in the backyard, canning much of what she grew, and taught her children to cook.
“You’d wake up in the night and see a light on, and she’d be ironing or mending or something,” David said. “She was like the Energizer Bunny.”
In the 1960s, the DeGeares opened Andy’s Doughnuts in Crystal City, with all the kids pitching in to help.
“Mom and the girls would get up at 4:30 a.m. to get those doughnuts started, so the guys getting off shift at PPG would have their fresh doughnuts,” David said. “Mom would make doughnuts, run the cash register, work the counter.”
Mrs. DeGeare was guided by her faith in everything she did, her son said.
“She was a very godly woman,” David said. “You could count on two hands the times she missed Mass in her life. She would always pray before meals, always find something every day to be thankful for, always tried to love people and treat them nice.”
She volunteered for the chapel vigil at Sacred Heart Church. If she wasn’t able to go, she’d send one of her children.
As they grew, her children came to realize what a strong woman Mrs. DeGeare was.
“My dad was a pretty rough guy, and we always wondered how she handled him all those years,” David said. “But we slowly figured out that she was so stubborn and so strong-willed that maybe he was the one putting up with her. We had no idea she had all that moxie.”
And she used it to follow the teachings of her faith.
“She prayed a lot,” David said. “She believed in listening to the still, small voice. And if she thought there was something the Lord wanted her to do, she was going to do it, come hell or high water.”
Once their children were grown, the DeGeares bought a 6-acre lot on a small lake near De Soto, where an ever-growing tribe of grandchildren would come to spend weekends.
“Sometimes it was wall-to-wall children in that trailer,” said oldest daughter Donna Keathley, 75, of Crystal City. “They’d swim, picnic, play games. We had bridal and baby showers, graduation parties. And she was always in charge. She knew what she wanted and we all helped her.”
The biggest party of all was held in September, when Mrs. DeGeare turned 100.
“Well over 300 people showed up,” David said. “She loved it. And she had so much energy! She did all this meeting and greeting, then we got her home and she said, ‘So…who wants to play cards?’”
In late January, Mrs. DeGeare contracted flu that developed into a bronchial infection.
“It just took her down from there,” her son said.
But she didn’t lose her amazing memory.
“She could tell you the birthday and anniversary of every child, grandchild and great-grandchild,” David said. “She’d say, ‘Call so-and-so,’ and I’d pull out my smartphone to look up the number and she’d rattle it off from memory.”
Mrs. DeGeare’s family will remember her attitude toward life.
“When times are rough, it can be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel,” Donna said. “But she could make you see it a different way. She had such a strong faith and she passed that along.”
“She was always content,” David said. “She had a gift for making the best of what you’ve got. She’s always been the kindest, sweetest, most compassionate and caring person I’ve ever known.”
“Life Story,” posted each Saturday on Leader Publications’ website, focuses on one individual’s impact on his or her community.