This is the second part of a four-part series on Alzheimer’s, a disease that slowly destroys memory and thinking skills, and eventually the ability to carry out simple, daily tasks. The disease, often referred to as “the long goodbye,” is devastating to those who have it, as well as their family members and friends. The series focuses on the disease, how it is diagnosed, progress in research and resources available for caregivers.
Bridget Parker and Susan Ratz share a passion that comes from loving someone who has Alzheimer’s. Both women are working to raise money and awareness to find a cure for the disease that devastates families.
Parker’s father, Charlie Helms, died in 2021, after a 10-year battle with Alzheimer’s.
Ratz has several family members who have been diagnosed with the disease, including her father, Francis Stratman.
Parker, 58, of Hillsboro works for the Edward Jones office in Hillsboro, while Ratz, 56, of Waterloo, Ill., works at an Edward Jones office on Telegraph Road in south St. Louis County.
They each are active in the Jefferson County Walk to End Alzheimer’s, and in 2019, the two took over organizing the Golf to End Alzheimer’s event in Pevely.
Losing a parent to Alzheimer’s
Over the course of a decade, Parker watched as her dad’s memories faded.
“It’s so hard to watch them just slowly lose everything,” she said. “I mean, my dad, he worked in construction all his life. He knew his way around everywhere. He could tell you how to get anywhere. And at the end of his life, he was getting lost. It was just so sad. He couldn’t even go 2 miles from his house.”
In July 2021, the family moved Charlie from his Arnold home into a nursing home specializing in Alzheimer’s care, Parker said.
“He would cut off all the ends of his extension cords,” Parker said. “He was just doing silly stuff, tearing things apart, and he didn’t know how to put them back together. It was just getting too hard for (his wife Dorothy) to take care of him.”
Still, about five days a week Dorothy would bring Charlie home for several hours after breakfast.
“They would come back to the house and watch TV or work out in the yard, and then sometimes she would make him dinner,” Parker said.
The first time the family brought him home for the day, they worried it would be a fight to get him to go back to the nursing home, but he surprised them, Parker said.
“He always would tell her, ‘I guess I better get back to work,’” she said. “He always called (the nursing home) his work. You know, everybody loved him. He was always trying to help the little old ladies, and he said they were always trying to get him to help them escape.”
Unfortunately, that November he developed COVID, which over the course of two weeks led to pneumonia. He died Nov. 22, 2021, at the age of 81.
“He passed away before he didn’t know who we were,” Parker said. “So, we were thankful for that.”
Disease runs in Ratz’s family
Ratz has seen more than one family member suffer from Alzheimer’s.
Her paternal grandmother, Henriette Stratman, who lived in south St. Louis County, had the disease and died in 1990.
Henriette had 12 children, and three of her sons, including Ratz’s father, were diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
Ratz said her dad, who is 82, was diagnosed with the disease when he was 75.
In January, he came down with influenza, which took a big toll on his physical and mental health. After months of being in and out of the hospital and nursing homes for rehab, he now is in a nursing home in Waterloo, Ill., Ratz said.
“He was fine in January, but that influenza just knocked the crap out of the Alzheimer’s,” she said. “It was a one-two punch. Now he can’t feed himself. He can’t walk anymore.”
Her dad, who worked in construction, was always muscular.
“His arms were just Popeye arms,” Ratz said, adding that he no longer can cut up his own food or open a bottle.
“We don’t know if he knows us, but he smiles when he sees us, so we are a familiar face.
“You’re not supposed to ask them (if they remember you). You’re supposed to ask yes or no questions. I go up to him and say, ‘Hey, Dad. It’s Susan.’ And that way he hears my name. Does he know who Susan is? Don’t know, but he smiles, which is a good thing.”
Ratz said it’s important to her to try to raise awareness and money for a cure.
“So, I do the walk, I do the golf tournament, trying to find the dollar that’s going to find a cure, find a drug that’s going to slow it down,” she said.
Ratz said she worries Alzheimer’s will strike her sister or her brother next, or even her.
“I tell (my adult daughters) I don’t want it to come to the point that me, my sister, my brother, that it affects one of us too, and my kids have to go through that, too,” she said. “It’s got to stop somewhere. We’ve got to find something, someplace that is going to slow it down or get rid of it.
“I want to see that white flag at those walks (Walk to End Alzheimer’s) be waved for that first survivor of Alzheimer’s. Oh God, yes.”
Parker said she, too, longs for the big breakthrough.
“I’m trying to raise what money we can so we can try to help the cause to hopefully someday find a cure,” Parker said. “I’m 58 and I’m just like seriously kind of worried about myself because I can’t remember anything. I’m so forgetful.”
Golf to End Alzheimer’s
Ten years ago, Paul Portell of De Soto started the Golf to End Alzheimer’s Golf Tournament to raise money for the Alzheimer’s Association.
“The guy who started it had Alzheimer’s,” Ratz said.
In 2018, Parker and Ratz, who were active in the local walk, were asked if they would help out with the fundraiser because Portell couldn’t do it anymore.
When Ratz and Parker took over organizing the tournament, there were 24 teams the first year. Last year, the tournament drew 36 teams.
Ratz said the tournament used to bring in roughly $5,000 a year. Last year, it raised $18,000 for the Alzheimer’s Association.
“We brought in about $50,000 in the last three years,” she said. “Paul’s family is still part of it. We do it in honor of him trying to fight for it. It’s very near and dear to all of our hearts.”
This year, Golf to End Alzheimer’s will be held at 1 p.m. Friday, Aug. 18, at Oak Valley Golf Course and Resort, 1230 Abbey Lane, in Pevely. Registration is at 11:30 a.m.
Registration costs $125 per person or $500 a team and includes food and drinks. To register, call Susan Ratz at 314-845-0086 or Bridget Parker at 636-797-3244.
The event will include a silent auction, a 50/50 raffle, attendance prizes and two margarita booths where people may buy drinks. Attendees also may play prize pong for a chance to win a sleeve of golf balls.
The community steps up to help with the event, donating items for the event, Parker and Ratz said.
All golf tournament proceeds go to the Walk to End Alzheimer’s in Jefferson County, which takes place Oct. 14 at the Fox High School athletic field. Registration is at 8:30 a.m. The ceremony is at 9:30 a.m., with the walk at 10 a.m.
The Alzheimer’s Association will present a free program on Understanding Alzheimer’s and Dementia at 6 p.m. Thursday, Aug. 17, at the Northwest Branch of the Jefferson County Library in High Ridge.
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Click through to see all stories in this series related to Alzheimer's.