As Pride month festivities wrapped up across the globe last month, a new Jefferson County support group hopes to help LGBTQ locals and allies connect year-round.
Meetings are led by the St. Louis-area chapter of PFLAG (which formerly stood for Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, but now is known simply by its acronym).
Whether you’re unsure how to support a family member’s “coming out” or have questions about a particular identity, PFLAG groups cater to a variety of needs, said Beth Gasparovic, PFLAG Greater St. Louis chapter president.
“We have a lot of parents and grandparents (attend), but also lots of other allies,” she said. “Anybody who has someone in their life they love who is LGBTQ is welcome and would find something in this space.”
She also said about one third to one half of attendees at PFLAG meetings identify as LGBTQ.
While St. Louis has a plethora of LGBTQ-specific resources, Jefferson County lacks them, and locals seem happy with the new group offered here, Gasparovic said, adding that while she and her husband live in St. Louis County, both have family members in Jefferson County.
She said about 20 people have attended each meeting, which began gathering in Arnold in May.
“The response has been exceptional,” she said. “Folks are connecting with each other; they’re helping each other. People are relating to what other people are struggling with.”
The sessions are informal and are facilitated by volunteers who have likely gone through journeys similar to those attendees have experienced, but people are encouraged to speak about any topic that comes to mind, Gasparovic said.
Gasparovic said a lot of false information is spread about LGBTQ identities, and PFLAG acts as a source of factual information.
“We really pride ourselves on meeting people where they are,” she said. “If they don’t ask, they’re going to get their information from somewhere, and it may not be a good source. Folks who come to our meetings are all in different starting places. Some folks are already super supportive. Others are really struggling. They may come from a faith community that’s not affirming.
“They’re dealing with a lot of other issues, but they love their kids, or whoever it is that’s brought them there, and they’re trying to learn and understand. And it’s amazing to watch those people grow.”
The new support group comes at a time when support systems are needed more than ever, Gasparovic said.
SAMHSA, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, announced its crisis line, 988, will stop routing contacts to its LGBTQ service partners on July 17. Currently, when people contact the crisis line, they may be routed to a specialized provider in three categories: Spanish language, LGBTQI+ Youth & Young Adults and the Veterans Crisis Line.
Performance metrics on the SAMHSA website show that more than 600,000 referrals were made to LGBTQ services last year. Since the agency piloted the program in September 2022, it has routed more than 1.2 million calls, texts and chats to LGBTQ services.
The Trevor Project, a nonprofit group known for LGBTQ youth counseling, accepts almost half of those routed contacts, according to a blog post on the organization’s website. In 2024, it trained almost 250 crisis counselors and operational support staff for 988 services
In the post, Jaymes Black, CEO of The Trevor Project, said SAMHSA’s announcement is “devastating.”
“The administration’s decision to remove a bipartisan, evidence-based service that has effectively supported a high-risk group of young people through their darkest moments is incomprehensible,” Black said.
As mental health support options are cut back, those in more rural areas feel the most impact, according to the Trevor Project’s 2024 national survey. The survey, which received more than 18,000 responses, found that LGBTQ youth ages 13-24 reported higher rates of bullying and physical threats or harm. While 67 percent of respondents from non-rural areas said their communities were supportive, only 34 percent of rural youth said the same. Rural youth who identified as transgender and nonbinary were even less likely to report having a supportive community.
Seeking information from PFLAG and similar groups helps people let go of stigmas they may be holding on to and start caring about LGBTQ issues, Gasparovic said.
She said she hopes open-minded conversations help people realize that allyship comes from a place of love for LGBTQ family and friends.
For those unsure how to support the LGBTQ people in their life, she emphasized trust and willingness to learn.
She said knowing the LGBTQ people in her life has made her a better parent and a better person.
“When I think about my child, for example, (I understand) that their gender identity and sexual orientation are just one part of who they are.
“(It’s important) to say, ‘you know what, I may not totally understand this yet, but I’m so honored that you’re telling me this and that you love me and trust me enough. I’m going to reciprocate that. Help me understand. Let’s figure this out.’”
Aside from the educational and social aspects of meetings, PFLAG is tuned in to other St. Louis-area LGBTQ groups and clubs. If someone is looking for an affirming recreational sport team or book club to join, for example, PFLAG may be able to find them some options, Gasparovic said.
For more information about the support group, email pflagstl@gmail.com or visit the chapter’s website, pflagstl.org.
Those who are not ready for a group setting may meet with volunteers one-on-one, Gasparovic said.
Another organization that offers mental health services, specifically for young countians, is Atlas Youth Outreach, which is based in Arnold.
The nonprofit creates opportunities for teens to bond over common struggles and discover their strengths together, a representative from Atlas Youth Outreach said in an email.
“Safe spaces are not easy to find for youth in the LGBTQ+ community, which amplifies feelings of loneliness, anxiety, depression and isolation and decreases self-esteem and confidence. In the worst cases it leads to suicidal ideations, attempts and loss of life. At Atlas, we believe that if we can create at least one space where a teenager can feel accepted then we are happy to be that space.”
Atlas Youth Outreach holds teen-focused community events throughout the year and has groups addressing subjects like anxiety, stress, depression, confidence, anger and relationships.
More information is available at atlasyouthoutreach.org or by contacting info@atlasyouthoutreach.org.
Gasparovic acknowledged there are many struggles LGBTQ people of all ages are facing right now, which is why it’s so important learn, grow and keep an open mind.
“Choosing to love and to respect and to care for someone is a much better way to live than (to) hate.”