I’m tired of being called crazy for my undying love for British pop superstar Harry Styles. There, I’ve said it.
I’ll admit, I screamed my head off when he popped up on stage wearing a bright orange, shimmery shirt and matching suspenders at his concert in the Enterprise Center in 2021. No one should be able to rock orange that well, but he managed it.
And yes, I did go on to attend his concert at the United Center in Chicago less than a month later, dropping some serious dough along the way. Do I regret it? Not one little bit. I had the time of my life watching Styles bop around onstage to the same exact setlist he played a few weeks earlier.
Why, as a broke college student, did I spend my meager savings on seeing the same act twice? I’m a fangirl, that’s why. And proud of it.
My family thought I was silly for spending my money on gas to drive the five-plus hours to Chicago, on concert tickets, food, drinks, all of it.
But, I retorted, how is seeing my idol a few times different from tailgating at all the Chiefs’ home games or being season ticketholders at Busch Stadium? I like what I like, and I shouldn’t be shamed for it.
Women, teenage girls and tween girls are often lambasted for proclaiming what or whom they love. They’re called cringy, fanatical, overly emotional, hysterical and obsessive.
In comparison, I find that men, or teenage boys or tween boys, are often called passionate or proud for liking the things they like, especially when supporting sports teams.
Going shirtless to a Chicago Bears game in January doesn’t scream “passionate” to me – it signals a swift visit to the emergency room for frostbite. Rushing downtown Philadelphia in a mob after the Eagles lose the Superbowl, destroying property and putting bystanders at risk, doesn’t represent “pride” to me – it screams criminal activity.
There’s a double standard when it comes to what men and women support and how it’s portrayed in the media and in general, everyday conversations.
Of course, I’m generalizing here. Women may also be major sports fans who get tattoos portraying their favorite player’s face, and men can obsess over Beyonce to the point of staking out her Malibu pad. But there are certain glaring stereotypes about female fans that I’d like to curb.
If you’re going to call a tween girl hysterical because she starts crying when Justin Bieber takes a selfie with her, then you should also call a grown man obsessive when he rushes the field to get an autograph from Lionel Messi during a soccer match.
When you tease a young girl for liking the South Korean pop group BTS, for example, she may feel embarrassed to share with you other aspects of her life for fear she’ll be made fun of for those interests as well. You can diminish people by diminishing what they love.
Several of my friends discovered a very tight-knit online, local community of fellow BTS lovers who are actively learning Korean because of their shared love for the boy band. Who wouldn’t want to support a community like that?
There is one statistic that sends a shock down my spine when I see it floating around the internet. According to a 2014 study from Lancaster University in Lancashire, England, domestic violence abuse increases by 38 percent when the England national football team loses a game, and even when the team wins, instances of domestic violence increase by 26 percent. Who would want to support a community that lets out their contrived aggressions on their partners?
To curb domestic violence during the football season, the Home Office, a department within the United Kingdom government, launched an advertising campaign in 2022 portraying examples of harassment women face, and challenging bystanders to step in and disrupt the abuse.
While the statistics are shocking, it’s heartening to see a campaign formed to attempt to curb domestic abuse. I see it as a step in the right direction toward encouraging a healthy relationship with the things you love – nothing, even losing an important football game, is worth exacting violence on others.
We learn in kindergarten that words have power – the power to persuade (which hopefully I’m doing here), the power to tear down and the power to lift others up. We should be mindful of how we speak to others about what brings them joy.
In a world that is often stressful and negative, my love for a quirky Brit with fantastic hair is a positive escape. Styles’ tagline is “Treat People with Kindness.” He’s even written a song about it. Maybe that’s why I’ve gravitated toward him – he emanates positivity.
I’m sure sports fans who spend their weekends watching their team play at the local dive bar are also seeking that positive escape.
I’m going to end this column with a word of advice from the host of the summer reality television show “Big Brother,” Julie Chen Moonves. I religiously watch that silly show three times a week, nearly putting my passion for Styles to shame.
At the end of the Thursday live show, Chen Moonves almost always ends with the line, “Love one another.” It’s simple but effective. Applied to my column, I interpret it to mean we can all like what we like and not tear others down for what they like.
Let’s call out the double standards when we see them and keep on keepin’ on. Let your freak fangirl flag fly!